When becoming a mom, I still remember how overwhelming it felt. Coming home from the birth center where I gave birth and where I spent several days having been in good care by the midwives working there, I felt a tightness in my breast, anxiety to take my baby for the first walk, and my heartbeat rising.
The first week at home I did not sleep at all, because of the nervousness and excitement I felt at the same time. I had been on the fastest emotional rollercoaster ride ever, from totally in awe with this little being I could call mine, to feeling exhausted and sad. And on top of all of this, there was the endless tiredness, the horrid sleep deprivation, the pain while breastfeeding plus the false expectations to still be able to continue with my old life and to feel complete and whole with my baby. None of these expectations did come true. It was too much.
Now, I know that this whole transformation of becoming a mom is called #matrescence. Every woman goes through this same change. It is as life-changing as adolescence when we grow from teenagers into adults.
Yet, there is still no word to describe this period where, after becoming a mom, we are feeling so off, which can last for several weeks and months. And only because mums are feeling like this, they don’t want to be immediately diagnosed with post-partum depression.
It would be good if parents just knew that this transition phase is normal, that they are not alone with all their emotions, and that every first-time parent is feeling the same way.
If women would just be a little bit more prepared for what is coming after birth and talked more to each other.
If they just knew that they will need to build a village, a support system, already before being a mom.
If they just knew that they cannot do it all alone and how relevant self-care is to properly take care of their little one!
When I was pregnant, I was seeking to prepare myself for what will come when being a mum, but I didn’t know how. The only thing everyone was talking about during pregnancy was preparing for birth: doing birth preparation classes, visualizing the dream birth, and maybe here and there, a little bit about self-care.
Nothing about the word matrescence, nothing about baby sleep, nothing about what it means to be a mom and how to mindfully parent.
That is why my mission today is to help as many pregnant women and newborn moms as possible to get a little bit prepared and to benefit from a support system because I believe that this will help them have an easier time navigating the fourth trimester and the entire first year with baby. So they can lay the right foundations for their child to become an emotionally and mentally healthy human being.
In my group program, I am teaching everything that parents should know about normal infant sleep, attachment and mindful parenting, breastfeeding, baby-led weaning, and more.
I help them to prioritize self-care and to access their intuition, because, at the end of their day, they are the only answer to their child.
I help them set the right expectations and take a healthy distance from unrealistic images and stories on social media that we get bombarded with.
I help them with suggestions on how to improve their baby’s sleep without getting involved in sleep training and cry-it-out methodologies.
Our children need us in good emotional and mental health. The first few years of life are tremendously important and influence how they will become as adults, and shape their entire being.